Relationships can be tricky business…

I’m not just talking about romantic relationships here. We have all kinds of relationships!

Really, it’s a balance of give and take, or receive (if you prefer).  And sometimes things don’t feel very balanced!!  Sometimes needs don’t feel like they are met. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like there is anything you can do about it…

There is an excellent book by Bruce McArthur about Universal Laws based on the readings of Edgar Cayce called:  “Your Life—Why it is the way it is and what you can do about it.”  

According to the Cayce teachings, the Law of Equality states that “Your needs wants, desires, hopes, dreams, wishes and their fulfillment are as important as those of any other soul in existence.”

This is a profound statement.

Think about it…

On a conscious level, you might agree.  But as you reflect on your life, do you live it?  Or is it a distant concept?

You are in a relationship with every person you interact with.  How many of those relationships are balanced?  How often do you put the desires of others above your own needs?  Or your desires above the needs of others—knowingly or not?

This truth is a challenging concept to live by.  Even Cayce couldn’t do it.  He put the needs of those requesting readings above his own health and vitality, even when clearly directed by his channeled guidance.  Ultimately everyone lost — Cayce lost his life, his followers lost the possibility of having readings, and the world lost the opportunity for more spiritual guidance and wisdom to be made known through this channel.

There is a very fine line associated with the Law of Equality as stated above.  It in NO way encourages selfishness; fulfilling one’s goals at the cost of others.  This is the ego at play, promoting the illusion that power over others is personal power.  Giving up one’s inner power for the perceived benefit of others is equally detrimental.

This pattern has challenged many a mother, wife or partner, and caretaker.  For countless generations females have been conditioned to this behaviour pattern, although there are males that have been as well.  For many it becomes a struggle to regain personal power.  And those who have been placed before others can develop a false sense of power and self-centeredness.  Although putting others first may start out as a selfless act, it can easily step over that fine line and become a dysfunctional and enabling relationship where both parties lose.

The good news is that there is a crystal clear energy bordering that fine line.  And once you are aware of it, your guidance or energy system will clearly alert you when you are about to cross over it.  It may be subtle, it may be a quick flash, but it will be there. Your free will allows you to respond however you choose, and one thing is for sure, it will have a great impact on your relationship with others and your Self.

Should you stop with the selfless behaviour?

Not necessarily.  Look more closely.  Are you authentically empowered by your giving?  Do you empower others in your giving?   If your motives are truly selfless, there will be no hidden agendas, no attachments or expectations, no judgments.  But you have to look closely and be honest with yourself.  Underneath your compassion could linger some shadow aspects.

How do you know?  Let’s look at the law again, “Your needs wants, desires, hopes, dreams, wishes and their fulfillment are as important as those of any other soul in existence.”  Are you giving up your needs and desires to make other people’s lives easier?  Perhaps that is your desire. Or your desire could be to feel useful and worthy, and you do that by over-giving.  If the receivers do not recognize your act of giving, does that create resentment in you?  Perhaps they do not want your help as much as you want to give it?  This can create resentment directed at you. It is a very fine line.

Deep inside you know when to give to others, and when to give to yourself.  Your inner knowing knows when you are out of balance. Despite appearances, there is no win-lose here because we are all connected. When you lose, everyone loses. From my experience, balanced relationships are win-win.  Lose-lose relationships are good teachers and provide jewels of wisdom within the experience.  Be forewarned, sometimes they feel like the cosmic 2 x 4.  It’s best to deal with the imbalance right away so the issues are not repeated.