In the Huna teachings, there is only one sin—to hurt another.  Only one sin… but think about it. If we could just follow that one tenet, think how different the world would be. It truly would be a world built on love and compassion.

In our lives, we have all hurt others, whether intentionally or unintentionally, and we’ve been hurt by others. Each of us has hurt our own Self with self-judgment, self-criticism, or self-depreciation. As our unconscious stores our memories, thoughts and emotions, any negative self-talk has the potential to do great harm to our self confidence and sense of worth.  When we put ourselves down, the unconscious absorbs those attitudes like a sponge, creating a negative self image.

Causing emotional pain can take several forms.  Hala means to miss the path or to err by omission. This includes repressed emotions, feeling sorry for… or not enforcing your boundaries.  Hewa means to go to extremes or excesses such as obsessions, addictions, perfectionism, or extreme emotions. ‘Ino is defined as intentional harm.  This applies to willfully harming others or one’s Self.

Harming others produces guilt, and as we collect more and more unresolved emotion, it becomes a great burden to bear. Making amends is one way to find absolution from guilt. You can do good deeds to those you have wronged or to others to make up for the wrong-doing.  Or you can use the Hawaiian tradition of ho’o ponopono, an internal forgiveness visualization.

Truly forgiveness is a state within yourself. If someone tells you they forgive you, but you do not feel it, chances are you will retain a sense of guilt. And if you continue to feel guilty, it is your responsibility, not theirs! If you find that you have hurt yourself or someone else, apologize and seek forgiveness from yourself.  You can also apologize to your own self for any past hurts and ask forgiveness.  Edgar Cayce stated that “Forgiveness heals and empowers the one who forgiveness.”

And there are some people that choose to be hurt.  They take offense where none is meant or misinterpret words, actions or inactions. Some use guilt as a form of control and manipulation. Start by taking responsibility for your own choices and hold others responsible for theirs.

As you become more aware, you will pay more attention to your own self-talk, to your boundaries and how others treat you, as well as how you treat others. If you make amends for any perceived wrongdoing while it is still fresh, it is less likely to fester and become emotional baggage. You will find over time that you hold more compassion for yourself and others, while taking care not to do harm as best you can.